Tuesday, 1 March 2011

Change feels good

This past week I got a lot done. Lately I've been chatting to God about my work ethic. I was getting tired of the fact that for as long as I can remember I've battled between a desire to do well, to do my best with my brain and the seeming inevitability of failure because I haven't put enough work in. I realised that I am not doomed to this cycle, that it isn't who I have to be any more and so I've changed. By his grace I can change. This last week has been a testament to this. I can't fault my attitude to work - I've worked hard. Now I'm tired. Yesterday was frustrating. I was beyond hope of productivity it seemed, and I decided to take the evening off. I'm going through a process of working out how much I need to rest and how much I can work, and it's a good process. I have the freedom to take thirty minutes out to take a picture and think about how I am today, and then I'll get back to it, and my day won't go so bad. 

I wanted to take a self-portrait today. I was feeling tired. I looked in the mirror and I surprised myself with how blinkered I looked. So I thought, now is a good time to take a self-portrait. I didn't want it to be  flattering, I just wanted it to be me, and reflect where I am today. 

I feel sober, I feel human. I feel hopeful and optimistic about the changes in my life in the past few days and I feel like getting on with it. 


I hope you've had a good week so far. Let me know how it's going 

R.

2 comments:

  1. So true. We all need to make sure we leave enough time in our hectic lives to live as well as work.
    Great lighting and composition :)

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  2. A beautiful self portrait, Rachel. And I can totally relate to everything you wrote in your post. <3

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